Green Horizons
by Letta
Summary: Piccolo finally gets himself a love interest, but is that really such a good idea? COMPLETE!!! Yeah for me! Chapter 8 reworked.
1. Default Chapter

Green Horizons By: Letta Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, the characters or their likenesses, or any rights. and with the paychecks I bring home, I never will.  
  
Rating: I'll work it out eventually.  
  
Warnings: Well, I guess references to yaoi relationships, abuse. sort of. OOC, probably AU, later on there'll probably be some graphic sexual situations, and be probably, I mean there will be. maybe a little dark humor, some violence. and anything else that could possibly be offensive or ishy that might come up. Also, writer's block hit at the synopsis. that's why there is none.  
  
Pairings: Piccolo x . hee hee hee.  
  
Notes: This is in response to. I guess it would be a request from. I forgot, but I'll figure it out. *denotes thought* "denotes speaking" //denotes flashbacks// #denotes whatever the hell I want it to denote# One more thing. special thanks to Lordess for letting me use her "ki block" idea.  
  
  
  
Piccolo floated cross-legged in the air, eyes closed in meditation. Behind him, a waterfall gushed noisily. The forest around him hummed with life. The scent of pines wafted through the air. A gentle breeze played lightly with his cape before going off in search of something new. It had been three years since Buu.  
  
The Namek had been meditative for nearly four hours, when his eyes finally slid open. He would never admit it, but a few times he had fallen asleep while meditating. Today, he kept awake. He had the suspicion that he'd be hearing from Gohan sometime before sunset, and wanted to make sure he was alert.  
  
The one time the kid had managed to sneak up on him, and he still hadn't heard the end of it. Then, almost off-handedly the demi-saiyan had mentioned that he snored. Piccolo hadn't wasted time in kicking the kid into the nearest mountain -and that was just a warning. Not that it did much to hurt him, because Gohan was back, seconds later teasing -keeping his distance.  
  
Sure enough, the boy, now a man, showed up less than an hour later, an almost timid look on his face. Piccolo ignored him.  
  
"Piccolo?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"I was wondering, if you're not doing anything, if you'd want to come with me to a barbeque at Master Roshi's." The stoic Namek cracked open an eye and looked at the demi-saiyan. He could see on Gohan's face that the boy really wanted him to go, though he wouldn't say it. Piccolo mentally sighed.  
  
"All right, fine. What time is it at?"  
  
"Now! Come on!" Gohan chirped happily, trying hard to keep himself from jumping with excitement. Piccolo eyed him critically; physically Gohan was a man, but otherwise.  
  
The Namek stood, signal enough for Gohan to go streaking into the sky, leaving his mentor to follow. Sometimes the Namek wondered how the demi- saiyan had grown so quickly. It seemed like just yesterday he had been training him in the wilderness, and now he had a wife and child.  
  
Piccolo had met Videl only a few times, but he knew that she was good for Gohan. For a human, or rather, for being Mr. Satan's daughter, she was a remarkable fighter. She could handle a saiyan, which also was remarkable. She was tough, strong, and he supposed for a human, pretty. Yes, he decided, Gohan had chosen his mate well.  
  
He caught up to Gohan almost immediately, who had regained enough sense to slow down enough that he was still moving forward, but was in all other senses, waiting. Together, they flew the rest of the way in companionable silence. It wasn't long before the tiny island filtered into after that.  
  
Piccolo soon detected the smells of roasting meat and vegetables in the air. It was apparent Gohan did too, as could be seen by the sudden pick up in his pace.  
  
The Namek lowered himself to the ground, acknowledging the greetings he received with a nod. Everyone was there, from the ones he could see to the ones he sensed inside the house. Since there were more people crowded outside, Piccolo resolved to go indoors.  
  
Standing in the doorway, his eyes flitted over to a corner where the saiyan prince stood silently, looking annoyed, while having Goku chattering away at him. He smirked at the scene. Taking another couple of steps in the room, he continued his inspection. In another corner, he saw Bulma, standing by herself, looking a little out of place. A blue dress that matched her hair hugged her figure lightly, stopping just above her knees.  
  
"Her and Vegeta decided to call it quits and just be friends. She's been a little withdrawn ever since. Personally," Gohan said quietly, as he moved in closer to add the last bit, "I think a lot of that has to do with my dad and Vegeta."  
  
The Namek quirked an eye ridge. "What about them?"  
  
"To be honest, I think my dad's taken more then a friendly interest in him, and it doesn't seem to me like Vegeta's really resisting."  
  
"You mean to say that your father and Vegeta are." Piccolo asked in barely concealed shock.  
  
"Well, I don't think anything's happened yet, but I get the feeling it's not far off."  
  
Piccolo turned his head to look at Gohan, his face showing a bit more curiosity than he really wanted to, but oblivious to the fact. Gohan looked back, seeing the expression on his mentor's visage, and taking it as encouragement. "She got a little lonely without Vegeta, and she can't really go back to Yamcha, not after he got that new girlfriend of his. who's a jealous witch. So I guess she's been spending a lot more time in her lab than anywhere else."  
  
"Yamcha has a new girlfriend every week, what's the problem there?"  
  
"I guess I left out obsessive. The woman won't let Yamcha out of her sight. It's not like he hasn't tried to break up with her either. it just didn't work like he planned."  
  
"He's stronger than his girlfriend, isn't he?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then why doesn't he just get rid of her?"  
  
"Get rid of." Gohan repeated, the words' true meaning sinking in. "Piccolo!" he hissed in admonition. "He can't do that!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"It's wrong! You don't just go around." Gohan stopped when he noticed Piccolo giving him a flat look, "Oh." It wasn't often that the Namek decided to give his leg a pull, so he usually didn't catch it right away when he did.  
  
"Still, a woman shouldn't be so much of a problem."  
  
"Try getting one. They're a bigger problem than you might think. The wrath of an angry woman is something no man alive wants to face." Piccolo snorted in response. Gohan shrugged and walked past his mentor over to the woman in the corner, who smiled warmly at him in greeting.  
  
"Hi Gohan! What have you been up to?" Bulma asked, relieved to be talking to someone.  
  
"Mainly working and helping Videl take care of Pan. I never knew kids could be such a handful! She can't sit still for five seconds! Now I know why my mom ended up in Ridgeview."  
  
"How is your mother, anyway?"  
  
"She's doing good. The doctors say the new medicine their treating her with is really working! They're hoping that maybe we can arrange a supervised visit soon. It'll be her first since being isolated from the other patients."  
  
"Why was she isolated? I'm afraid I haven't heard," Bulma asked, curiously.  
  
"Well, she got a hold of a pair of scissors and went after a few of the other patients. I guess it was a real mess."  
  
"I'm sure she'll be fine," Bulma reassured, "Ridgeview has a good reputation for Psych Wards." Gohan nodded and smiled good-naturedly.  
  
Piccolo walked up to Gohan, nodding to Bulma. She smiled back.  
  
"Hi Piccolo."  
  
"Hnn," The Namek replied, trying to ignore the strand of hair that dangled in front of her jeweled eyes. Secretly, Piccolo had always thought Bulma to be a rather beautiful woman. She was strong in her own way. Anyone who could handle Vegeta like she had was someone who deserved respect. Chichi had. but then she just lost it one day. Gohan's explanation of the event rang through his mind once again.  
  
//Dad told her that he'd be leaving for a few weeks to go and train and to "have fun with the kids." She'd been acting funny for a few weeks by then, and I guess that was the last straw. You know how she was never too fond of my dad going off and leaving like that. Anyway, she just sort of looked at him walking out the front door over to where Vegeta was impatiently waiting and all of a sudden: "Hold it, buster," Gohan said, doing an imitation of his mother. My dad turns around and says, "Yeah, what is it Chichi? Is something wrong?" She didn't even give him a warning, she just whips out this machine gun from who knows where and starts shooting at him. Of course, it didn't even faze him, he just stood there, looking confused. "Is there something you wanted?" Well, that just made mom even madder. Suddenly, she just leaps at him, knocking him to ground and starts choking him. Now, she must've been pretty mad because dad says she actually managed to cut of his air supply. Can you imagine the power up she would've had to have gotten? The whole time, she was yelling curses and fragments of whatever came into her head, strangling my dad and slamming his head into the ground.  
  
Dad had to power up to super saiyan just to get her off. He says it was the hardest transformation he's ever done, he almost couldn't focus enough to do it. He doesn't even have that problem with Vegeta! Well, he threw mom off, but she wasn't done with him yet. He started to fly off, out of her reach to ask her what that was all about. Now, I don't know if she had learned this earlier, or if she was just that mad and it happened, but she flew right up to him and kneed him. right where it counts. Dad got this look of pure pain on his face and fell to the ground, almost dropping out of super saiyan. Mom didn't let up either. She kept kicking and swinging at him, and he had to try his hardest just to ward her off. In the end, it took me, Goten, and Vegeta to hold her back long enough for dad to get away.  
  
Of course, then she turned on us. We're just lucky dad had his instant transmission.  
  
In the end, after we had knocked her unconscious, we got her under sedation and had Bulma create some ki blocks, these little metal bands she snapped on mom's wrists, and then she wasn't too much of a problem. except for trying to kill one of the Briefs' cats with a meat cleaver. So, we called up Ridgeview Psychiatric Ward and had them take her away.//  
  
Piccolo was snapped out of his reverie when the call for food had torn the three saiyans in the rooms from their spots and out the door. Bulma and Piccolo were left staring after them.  
  
"He's been sort of a chatter box after they hauled his mom away. He doesn't know what to say, so he says a whole lot of nothing," Bulma commented.  
  
"They should've seen if they could get a family discount," Piccolo said. The blue haired woman giggled. The namek smirked and turned to look at her, their eyes meeting, and she smiled back. Suddenly, he found himself looking at dancing sapphires that gleamed with a brilliance he had not noticed before. Surprisingly, he did not seem to mind.  
  
  
  
Well, how's that? I had a little fun with this one, and it'll probably only get weirder. Want more or should I send this to the trash?  
  
Letta 


	2. Chapter 2

Green Horizons By: Letta Disclaimer: I don't own it, but I'm working on correcting that.  
  
Rating: R or NC-17 Wherever I decide to go with this.  
  
Warnings: Well, I guess references to yaoi relationships, abuse. sort of. OOC, probably AU, later on there'll probably be some graphic sexual situations, and by probably, I mean there will be. maybe a little dark humor, some violence. and anything else that could possibly be offensive or ishy that might come up. Also, writer's block hit at the synopsis. that's why there is none.  
  
Pairings: Piccolo x Bulma!!! Can you see how excited I am by that?  
  
Notes: I said this was a request, but apparently my mind likes to make up stuff and gets me to believe it. Well, isn't this embarrassing. Or is it? Disregard last statement, I'm not sure what I meant by it. but hey, if anyone wants to step up and take credit for requesting this, I'll be happy to go along with it. Next time, before I start a request fic, I'll have to remember to make sure it was actually requested. *denotes thought* "denotes speaking" //denotes flashbacks// #denotes whatever the hell I want it to denote# One more thing. special thanks to Lordess for letting me use her "ki block" idea.  
  
  
  
She knew she didn't belong there.  
  
Chichi stood in a dark corner, shrouded in shadow. Red-rimmed, wild eyes pierced through anything they chose to rest on. Once again, she took in every detail of the room, memorizing its layout. She took in everything: routines, medicine administrations, outbursts, aimless wanderings, everything. She brushed her flat, limp hair out of her face. The dark haired woman was working out a plan.  
  
She knew she didn't belong there.  
  
Someone had planned it, and she knew whom. The guilty one had succeeded in locking her up, but would not in keeping her there. She had been set up, and now she would exact her revenge. So what if no one believed her, she would prove it.  
  
She knew she didn't belong there.  
  
*****  
  
Bulma was surprised. She had spent almost the entire barbeque just standing with Piccolo. Nearly everyone had a difficult time conversing with the tall Namekian, but for some reason, it seemed. easy. He had a wonderful sense of humor, though she could see why some people might have a hard time picking up on it.  
  
He was intelligent -a nice change from most of her friends. Logical, unlike every saiyan she knew. Handsome.  
  
Bulma blushed at the last thought. She never had much occasion to sit around and just think about it for hours on end, but as she gazed up into the warrior's face, she reaffirmed it. Definitely handsome.  
  
To her own surprise, and probably his as well, they got along pretty well. She had never really talked to him before, never having more than a couple of words exchanged at a time. He wasn't a talkative person. He said more without words than he ever did with them. She found his presence comforting, though.  
  
It was funny, to find the Demon King's presence comforting.  
  
She watched as Goku followed Vegeta back into the house, though not without a pang of jealousy. She had more than a sneaking suspicion that there was something going on between those two. It wouldn't surprise her to learn they were pounding each other's brains out at night.  
  
A rueful little smile crossed her lips.  
  
Despite herself, she hoped Goku drove Vegeta as crazy as he had Chichi, and Vegeta was as much of an asshole to Goku as he had been to her. It would make her feel better.  
  
Suddenly a loud crash from outside snapped her attention away from the dark corners of her mind. She looked up at Piccolo questioningly, but he gave an almost imperceptible shrug of his shoulders. Then, they were out the door, running to see what had happened.  
  
The grill was tipped over, lying helplessly on the ground. Next to it stood Yamcha's girlfriend, arm still outstretched from the attack on the cooking instrument, glaring with raw hatred at Android 18. She was snarling.  
  
Bulma and Piccolo stopped short. The brown-haired woman looked like she would kill at that moment.  
  
*Maybe Gohan has a point.* Piccolo thought, remembering what the young demi-saiyan had said about the wrath of an angry woman.  
  
Android 18 was looking a little confused, to say the least.  
  
"You little slut, stay away from Yamcha!" the enraged woman screamed.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Don't give me that bull," came the low, dangerous reply.  
  
"All I did was ask if he would hand me the ketchup," 18 said, trying to decide on the woman's problem.  
  
"Hey, come on, Diane," Yamcha started, nervously, "let's go."  
  
"Not until after I've taught this bitch a lesson!" Apparently the woman didn't realize she die horribly if she tried to take on the android.  
  
"She didn't mean anything by it, really!" he said almost pleadingly, "She doesn't think anything of me! Let's just go and pick up a movie or something. Please!" She regarded him silently for a moment.  
  
"Fine." Maybe she did realize she couldn't take on the android. Then, she turned back to 18, "This isn't over." Apparently not. She grabbed Yamcha roughly by the arm and hauled him off into their air car, causing his sunglasses to slip for just a second as she yanked on him before he pushed them back up. Bulma gasped quietly to herself as she stared after the madly retreating car.  
  
"Did he have a black eye?" she asked more to herself, almost forgetting Piccolo was right next to her.  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
"Yamcha doesn't fight anymore." Piccolo turned to her, looking at her sternly.  
  
"What do you mean?" his tone somewhat severe.  
  
"The way he tried to hide it. and that woman's loose temper. Is she beating him?" Bulma said, shock ebbing her voice. Piccolo stared at her, his expression hard, then he looked at the direction the air car had stormed off in.  
  
"Yamcha's one of the strongest humans alive, but what you're suggesting. it's hard to believe, but it may be true."  
  
"That woman should be roommates with Chichi."  
  
*****  
  
Vegeta stood scowling, his brows drawn together in annoyance. Beside him, the third class baka was trying to get into his pants. Vegeta had made the mistake of going to bed with Kakkarot once, and the fool had been after him ever since. That was the last time he played strip poker while drinking whiskey. Absently, Vegeta toyed with the idea of making up another lover to get the other saiyan to back off. He could just picture it: *Kakkarot, I'm in love with someone else. His name is George.* He nearly chuckled aloud as he thought of the look that would cross the other man's face.  
  
Secretly, though, there was someone else.  
  
"Come on, Vegeta, let's go upstairs," purred the amorous Earth-grown saiyan.  
  
"And do what? Count the steps?"  
  
"How about counting how many times I can make you scream?"  
  
"How about not," Vegeta said, walking away, hoping he wouldn't be followed. He was lucky. Kakkarot was taking the hint, for now. It usually didn't last long.  
  
The prince stepped outside, noting the grill had been picked up from earlier. The bitch's screaming had given him more of a headache than Kakkarot. He couldn't understand why Yamcha didn't just "off" her. He was sure the human could kill her if he tried hard enough.  
  
He made a quick note of the way his former mate was talking with the Namek, finding it almost funny. He wouldn't have come up with those two on his own. He made a mental note to give her hell about it.  
  
A quick scan of the people dotted on the small beach before him led his eyes to one person in particular. The entire reason he had come today.  
  
Vegeta was sighted in and started to move, making a beeline for his target.  
  
Unfortunately for the prince though, the person in question had just finished a round of goodbyes and was heading off.  
  
*Dammit! If Kakkarot hadn't been following me around and practically hanging on me all day, I could've had a chance to make a move! I'm going after him and if I'm lucky, Kakkarot won't notice.* Vegeta looked back towards the beach house before taking off into air after the object of his affections.  
  
*****  
  
"Vegeta, wait!" Bulma called out, running a few paces when she noticed the saiyan prince flying off.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Piccolo asked, quirking an eye ridge.  
  
"Well, yeah. He was my ride."  
  
"You mean you didn't take an air car here?"  
  
"No, my dad's got it in the lab, it's been running funny," Bulma explained.  
  
"And you don't have another one in that place?"  
  
"Well, I looked, but I couldn't find any! My capsules are missing." The blue haired woman looked up at him, her blue eyes narrowing somewhat in thought. The Namek found himself struck by the gaze she hadn't realized she was giving him.  
  
"I could. uh. give you a ride," Piccolo faltered. (^-^ Think about it. It's funny. or sick.)  
  
"Oh could you? That'd be great! Thanks Piccolo!" Bulma said, her blue eyes sparkling as she smiled at him. Piccolo tried desperately to control the blush seeping across his face. "Could we go now, if that's all right with you? I'm itching to get back to a project I'm working on."  
  
"Sure," the Namek replied, his voice carefully disinterested. As much as he hated to admit it, he found her. companionable. She'd come a long way from the whiny, self-centered girl she used to be. He carefully wound a powerful arm around her tiny waist, trying not to hurt her, then lifted a few feet off the ground.  
  
He waited until she had shifted into a comfortable position in his grip, and then tore off. It was only too soon when Capsule Corp. came into view and they landed, Piccolo setting her gently on the ground. Bulma smoothed out her clothes before turning to the tall alien. She tugged lightly on the front of his gi, and he bent down to her. Standing on her toes, she reached up and kissed his cheek, then let him go, a slight blush working its way onto her visage, before she turned and went inside, calling out another thanks over her shoulder as she went.  
  
Piccolo remained in the bent over position she left him in, staring after her in a mixture of shock and something he couldn't quite define, but it left a warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was even oblivious to the purple staining his cheeks.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: I got into my very first car accident this week! Oh joy. A deer hit me and I went in the ditch. Tiny plastic cars and big, powerful deer are not fun. I need a new car door now. I really can't wait for hunting season to start up. grrr. On the bright side, after the tow truck got the car out, at about.10:30. I got to take the rest of the day off! Hey, take advantage of the situation. That had nothing to do with the story. for those of you who were wondering.  
  
Oh, and if you want to give some reviews, go ahead. Flames are fine; I take what I can get. I might be the only person alive who likes flames (and at times, prefer them. they're so fun! Just a pick-me-up!). I you want to say "Screw it," and don't review or possibly have that as a review. that's good too.  
  
I apologize to anyone named Diane who wasted their time reading this and was subsequently offended. 


	3. Chapter 3

Green Horizons By: Letta Disclaimer: I don't own it, and if I said I did, absolutely no one would believe me anyway. mainly because I survive solely on Hot Pockets. which I also do not own.  
  
Rating: R or NC-17 Wherever I decide to go with this.  
  
Warnings: Well, I guess references to yaoi relationships, abuse. sort of. OOC, probably AU, later on there'll probably be some graphic sexual situations, and by probably, I mean there will be. maybe a little dark humor, some violence. and anything else that could possibly be offensive or ishy that might come up. Also, writer's block hit at the synopsis. that's why there is none. Oh, and now that this has come up, angst. specifically for Goku. He'll probably suffer.  
  
Pairings: Piccolo x Bulma!!! Vegeta x ?. maybe.  
  
Notes: Well, all my testing is done, which was the result of all my classes mysteriously finishing a chapter/section in the same week, causing me to be tested in EVERYTHING! School upsets me. The point is: I can focus on this thing a little more. Theoretically.  
  
*denotes thought* "denotes speaking" //denotes flashbacks// #denotes whatever the hell I want it to denote# One more thing. special thanks to Lordess for letting me use her "ki block" idea.  
  
  
  
Chichi landed softly on the ground. So far, escape was a success. It was made unbelievably easier with help from someone, though she couldn't figure out whom exactly. Whoever it was must have believed her. She had been left with a certain gym bag full of various equipment that would help to make her escape that much more possible. She had found it on her bed in the form of a capsule when she entered her room for the night. She had already been planning on her breakout for that week, and the surprise happened to up the date. She was, however, a little disappointed. They were going to make yarn and Popsicle stick decorations tomorrow. Sometimes, fun comes second.  
  
Now, she was dressed head to toe in black and stealthily making her way away from the building. Before she left, she had made one important stop at the office of her doctor, for the remote for the ki blocks. She had discovered it locked away in his desk, but the bag had been thoroughly packed, and a lock-picking kit had been thoughtfully included. She also found a shockingly large collection of pictures of her doctor's feet decorated with nail polish.*  
  
Chichi rifled through the items in her gym bag, finding a capsule marked that it was a car. She jogged two blocks away before she dared open it. It happened to be a nice car, a 1971 Camaro Z-28, fast and sleek. Someone was willing to spend something to get her out, which left her thoroughly confused. Why someone wouldn't just cheap it up and get her a Geo was beyond her. Chichi's mind turned to Bulma, but she had been the one to invent the ki blocks just for her. *Thoughtful* she griped bitterly to herself.  
  
Chichi drove far past the outskirts of town before pulling over. She also discovered a capsule house and close to five thousand dollars in cash. *Bulma certainly could afford to do this. but somehow, I don't think it was her at all.*  
  
The black haired woman chose a discreet location and then popped her capsule house, and re-capsulated the car. She would have to sleep on this.  
  
*****  
  
Piccolo growled angrily in frustration. He couldn't recall a time when he had experienced so much difficulty meditating. His thoughts continuously wandered to pools of blue crystal delicately set in the fair frame of a beautiful face. The namek had always known Bulma was gorgeous, but until recently, he had never really paid much attention. It had been three days since that barbeque, and she was still interrupting his thoughts.  
  
He pardoned the interruption.  
  
Once again, his cheek burned in the spot where her lips had caressed it. The burn spread across his face, turning it a deep purple, and he was glad no one was around to witness it. Unconsciously, he raised his fingers to lightly stroke the patch of skin. When the pit of his stomach began to tingle however, he cut off the line of thought and snapped his eyes open, deciding to do a brief workout.  
  
Before he could start, though, his sensitive ears picked up a faint humming that was becoming louder and louder. As he looked to the sky, he could make out a faint shape coming towards him. It didn't take him long to figure out that it was a plane, and soon he could see the familiar symbol of the Capsule Corp. on the side of it. It was one of the few corporate logos he knew, and the only one that could grab his attention.  
  
He stood silently with his arms folded as the plane landed in the clearing he was in. When a well-shaped female leg stepped out, attached to a blue- haired beauty, he couldn't help but notice how his heart sped up.  
  
Bulma waved to him with a smile and encapsulated her plane. She walked over to him, fairly bouncing with each light step she took. She had purposely chosen a close-fitting, blue-checked, short summer dress for this. She noticed that Yamcha, Vegeta, and even Goku had looked at her appreciatively when she wore it. It had the unique ability of accenting all the right features, and diminishing all the flaws, which were minimal enough as it was. She was hoping for it to have the same effect on the namek.  
  
It did.  
  
Piccolo found he was having a hard time from keeping his breath catching in his throat, and was glad he could set his face into a mask of stone.  
  
She walked up to him, one hip at a time. The light caught in her eyes, and made them sparkle like sapphires as her full red lips spread openly over her pearly white teeth.  
  
The namek never stood a chance.  
  
"Hey Piccolo, I was wondering if you'd like to come over to my house tonight, at around seven?" her voice floated to his ears sounding like music. Poor boy never saw it coming.  
  
"Uh. sure," he said, slightly dazed, and completely unable to refuse, even if he had wanted to.  
  
*****  
  
Vegeta sat miserably, Kakkarot chattering nonsense into his ear. He had not been able to find the object of his affections after he left the barbeque, and the fool had come searching after him moments later. He had told him to go away, but the idiot seemed to think he was kidding or something. He had tried fighting the man off, but the baka had thought they were sparring. Curse his own weakness! If he could, the prince would not hesitate in killing the man.  
  
He had to go. He had to go find. but first, he had to get rid of Kakkarot.  
  
A half-baked idea formed slightly in his mind, but at the moment, he was willing to try it.  
  
"Kakkarot." Immediately he had the attention of the other man.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Go get me a glass of water."  
  
"Sure," he said, getting up and running inside Capsule Corp. to the kitchen. As soon as Vegeta sensed that the man was far enough inside the house, he hid his ki and took off at a breakneck speed. He ran about three blocks before he hailed a cab and ordered to be taken to the city limits.  
  
When the taxi let him out, he dug in his pockets and handed the man a small wad of cash, then watched as he drove off. He felt Kakkarot searching for him during the ride. The man had been calm about it at first, but now his power signal felt frantic. Vegeta laughed loudly. There were a few stares.  
  
Then, the prince locked onto another ki signature, this one far more alluring, but also far more distant. A smirk settled on Vegeta's face as he pulled out an air car capsule and popped it open. The smirk slipped for a second when he wondered why he had just wasted money on a cab. The people staring at him wondered that, too.  
  
He decided it wouldn't matter soon enough, especially if he had indeed lost Kakkarot. Before long, the prince was speeding madly away, little coherent thought on his mind.  
  
*****  
  
Chichi watched as Vegeta bolted as soon as Goku had gone inside. *So, he hadn't tried to steal my husband. good boy. Goku, though, I'm not through with you yet.* She set her binoculars aside, wondering who, if anyone, had found out about her escape. No one would probably notice until she failed to show up to her daily meeting with her doctor. Ridgeview believed in letting their patients roam about freely, letting them wander around from six in the morning until ten at night. They didn't come to wake you up in the morning, and only looked around for you when it was time to go to therapy. They shouldn't miss her for another hour. More than enough time for her doctor to fill up a few more rolls of film of his feet.  
  
She had checked on her children, but there was nothing out of the ordinary there, either, other than Gohan talking to himself, and occasionally answering. She wondered if all that studying she made him do had fried his brain. If that were the case, Goten would never go insane. The kid was as dumb as a rock. The two thoughts that were left circling in her mind regarded who had kindly left her the bag of equipment, and how to get back at her 'loving' husband.  
  
*****  
  
Bulma answered the door, and let Piccolo in. He was wearing his typical training gi. She had figured as much, but it didn't matter. She herself, was dressed in jeans, a white t-shirt, and a leather jacket, with sunglasses resting on the top of her head. They were going out for a night on the town, so to speak. Well, maybe above the town.  
  
"Glad you made it," she said, "Just a second, I have to grab my pack." Before the namek could reply, she was gone, but was back just as quickly, snapping shut a capsule case.  
  
"Ready?" she asked, a decidedly mischievous grin settled on her face.  
  
"For what?" he asked, quirking an eye ridge.  
  
"You'll see, if you don't mind chauffeuring me around," she added with a wink. To say the namek did mind would be a lie, and lying is bad. Piccolo may be badass, but he is no longer bad. It irks Goku to no end that he wasn't the one to convert the surly namek, too. Suck on it, Goku.  
  
Piccolo gladly wrapped an arm around Bulma's waist and flew off to where she directed him, like something out of a frickin' romance novel.  
  
*****  
  
Vegeta parked the car, got out, and re-capsulated it.  
  
"Vegeta! What are you doing here?"  
  
The prince struggled desperately to keep the look of longing from his face, finally succeeding. The other man's sparring partner whispered something to him, winked at Vegeta, and then sped off. The saiyan was left alone with the object of his affections, at last.  
  
"I'm here to see you, Tien," Vegeta said softly.  
  
  
  
*1 To be perfectly honest, I can't take credit for that. It wasn't made up. My sister-in-law works in a photo hut thing, and she was telling us one time how this one guy had rolls and rolls (more than one, folks) of film of his feet in women's shoes. Personally, I only use one roll of film, but maybe he got a discount. I was just kidding, I don't take pictures of my feet.  
  
A/N: "TIEN? TIEN?!" I think that's probably the response I'll get, but I couldn't help it. I think it's funny. Just remember: when you try to beat me, you'll have to catch me first, and I'm quicker than I look. Anyway, sorry this took so long to get out. I learned my lesson and will never again begin a story in September, October, or November. That's about how long it takes me to get back into school. Pathetic.  
  
Reading over this (I can't remember the last time I actually did that), I noticed there was a lot of fluff and just plain weirdness. It seemed a little like rambling, much like I'm doing now. To think I originally planned this to be a one-shot. It also seems like I hate Goku with a fiery passion, not so. So many people just think the world of him and it's gone to his head, I'm doing him a favor by bringing him back down to earth.  
  
Damn! I forgot to make fun of Yamcha! Next time. 


	4. Chapter 4

Green Horizons By: Letta Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own it. I have a cool action figure of Videl. and one of Goku. They're my muses. Though, right now, Goku's refusing to work for me. he's in a mood, just because I'm giving him a hard time. I had a point. What was it? Never mind, I guess I don't. You know, even though DBZ is on my list of rights to eventually own, it's not actually number one. I'm after Inu-Yasha, and then Yu Yu Hakusho. DBZ is third. It would be fourth, but I already own the rights to death.  
  
Rating: R or NC-17 Wherever I decide to go with this.  
  
Warnings: Well, I guess references to yaoi relationships, abuse. sort of. OOC, probably AU, later on there'll probably be some graphic sexual situations, and by probably, I mean there will be. maybe a little dark humor, some violence. and anything else that could possibly be offensive or ishy that might come up. Also, writer's block hit at the synopsis. that's why there is none. Oh, and now that this has come up, angst. specifically for Goku. He'll probably suffer.  
  
Pairings: Piccolo x Bulma!!! Vegeta x Tien?  
  
Notes: I have nothing left after that "disclaimer," if you could even call it that.  
  
*denotes thought* "denotes speaking" //denotes flashbacks// #denotes whatever the hell I want it to denote#  
  
  
  
Yamcha froze as the phone rang. He couldn't get to it before Diane, he knew that. The blood in his veins turned to ice and his body went numb as she picked up the receiver. It was like looking Death® in the face. *(Death® and all respective likenesses are property of Letta, who won the rights in a poker game.)  
  
"Hello?" she answered. "No, he's not here, may I ask who's calling? Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Thank you, bye." She slowly turned to Yamcha, her eyes hardened crystals of black fire.  
  
"Yamcha, dear," she began, her voice cold, "who is Sheila?"  
  
"Sheila? She's. uh. no one."  
  
"If she's no one, then why is she calling?"  
  
"I have no idea! Really, I don't!" he squeaked, instinctively backing away. He wasn't sure if he would live to see tomorrow, but then, who is? Who can say with one hundred percent certainty that they will?  
  
Diane gave him a withering stare that seemed to turn his feet to lead. He was rooted to the spot as she stalked towards him. She let out an angry snarl as she shot a fist out at him, connecting it with his jaw. Another one before he could block it snapped into his eye.  
  
Diane had once been a professional boxer. She trained extensively over the years, usually practicing on her boyfriends. They were cheaper than punching bags. She idolized Mike Tyson, and although she had never tried biting off anyone's ear, she did manage to take a chunk out of someone's arm. She had done that long before his fight with Evander Holyfield, and since then believed that she and Mike were meant for each other. They probably were.  
  
Yamcha, on the other hand, didn't care about Diane's abnormal obsession with the boxer, especially since he was bleeding profusely from the facial area. At the moment, all he cared about was seeing a medical professional.  
  
*****  
  
Bulma had directed Piccolo to the top of a three-story building, and was now busying herself with opening a capsule. Piccolo watched her with a great deal of interest as the capsule opened up into a large gym bag. The blue-haired beauty began fidgeting around inside the bag, finally producing an armful of what looked to be.  
  
*Those aren't what I think they are, are they?* The namek wondered. When Bulma stood and turned to face him, his suspicions were confirmed. "And what are you planning on doing with those?"  
  
"I think it's pretty obvious. We're standing on top of a building above a semi-busy street. What do you think I'm planning?" she asked, a devious smirk settling on her face. The namek stared at her for a moment before reaching out a hand.  
  
"Give me one of those." The scientist complied, handing over a carton, and setting all but one on the ground between them. She got to work on opening hers up and selecting one of the white ovals.  
  
Piccolo found himself a target, and waited with his arm extended over the sidewalk below. When the chosen man was a footstep away, he released his fragile shell and watched as it hit the man on the top of the head, cracking open and leaking its clear and yellow slime all over him. Piccolo and Bulma had ducked. The man stopped in shock, then anger welled up as he looked up shouting curses and shaking his fist. The pair crouched, attempting to stifle their laughter, but failing in escaped giggles and snorts.  
  
They waited until the man had gone on before they stood again, looking for someone new to victimize. When a sharply dressed woman who looked to be in her early forties came down the walk, Bulma grinned at Piccolo. "My turn."  
  
The scientist timed her drop, waiting until the woman was nearly directly below her before releasing her egg. Then ducking with her partner in crime immediately after she did so. The two not bothering to quell their laughter this time, which only helped to infuriate the shouts from below.  
  
****  
  
Goku sniffed the air around him. His prince had come this way. He had been trailing the man's scent for nearly thirty minutes after being unsuccessful in sensing him out. *Is this some kind of game?* The saiyan was more than thoroughly frustrated, not to mention confused.  
  
When Vegeta had asked him for a glass of water, he had gone inside to get him just that, but then a sudden drop in the man's ki signature had easily caught his attention. When a power level that large just plummets, it's hard to miss. He had immediately forgotten about the water then, and ran outside to find Vegeta nowhere in sight.  
  
At first, he had gone about searching for him calmly, but when he couldn't sense him anywhere, he began to worry. All out panic would be a better description.  
  
Goku then caught a whiff of him, and preceded to track him the one way that he could: through scent. For three blocks, it was really strong, but then it began to ebb. At the city limits, he asked a few people milling about if they had seen him, finally getting some answers from a man who was working at a restaurant.  
  
Vegeta had gotten out of a cab and started laughing like he had lost his mind. Then, he popped open a capsule car, got in and left. The man couldn't figure out why he had taken a taxi.  
  
*****  
  
Bulma and Piccolo each turned a carton upside-down on some poor woman's head, showering her with a torrent of fetal chicken slime. The couple laughed hysterically at the woman's shrieks and profanity, pointing at her all the while. They glanced up the street, however, when they noticed a man coming down the sidewalk carrying what appeared to be a large mallet.  
  
What they didn't know was that this man was named Burt, and he was a kai. He gave and took life freely, and his platinum mallet was more than a symbol of his power. He was the Kai of Mallets. If that didn't make an impression, his clothing would, provided you knew he was a kai, for he was dressed in a brown, unassuming suit that reflected a middle-class British businessman. He regular getup was at the cleaners. he had spilt gravy on it.  
  
The pair atop the building eyed each other and nodded, reaching for their last cartons. This weirdo was gonna' get it.  
  
When Burt walked by a three-story bakery/tailor's shop, he didn't think anything was amiss, despite a shrieking woman surrounded by dried and drying egg spatterings. Poor Burt was caught unawares.  
  
A single, white egg found its way to the top of his head, where it smashed apart, ending its egg-life in a yellow goo glory. Burt swung his head to the sky, seeking out the perpetrator with his eyes. Instead, two more orbs cracked open on his face. He could hear mocking laughter, but was now blinded. He didn't see, but he definitely felt the torrential downpour of chicken zygotes. It seemed to happen in slow motion as egg after torpid egg crashed down on him from above. The union of gametes cursed him once again! Why did this keep happening to him?!  
  
Last time, he was the only one to walk away. Everyone else was left to rot in the bloody massacre that had occurred because of his wrath. Though, it hadn't been the first time something like that had happened. People didn't take you seriously when they learned you were the kai of a blunt object, despite its usefulness as a weapon. They tended to learn too late.  
  
Otherwise, Burt was a real nice guy. Just swell.  
  
*****  
  
(If you could picture a dramatic scene from a cheesy black and white romance movie, that'd be great.)  
  
Tien and Vegeta stared at each other. The prince didn't disguise the lust in his eyes, or try to deny the way his eyes roamed freely over the other man's body.  
  
"You shouldn't have come back here, Vegeta. not after." the taller man said, turning away.  
  
"But Tien, can't you see? I need you," the prince said, grabbing his arm and spinning him around to face him, "I can't live without you."  
  
"But Vegeta."  
  
"But nothing! My life is meaningless without you, please," the prince said, fumbling in his pocket until he pulled something out and presenting it to Tien, "Will you?"  
  
"Oh Vegeta, you poor fool. Of course I will!" he said, before having both his arms grabbed and pulled close as his lips were crushed against the prince's in passionate bliss.  
  
The object in Vegeta's hand fell to the ground. two paper-clipped tickets to Disney World®. Really, nothing says love like a disease-ridden rodent's empire.  
  
*****  
  
Burt began to swing his mighty mallet round his head, his mounting fury causing the air around him appear to ripple. Thunderclouds rolled in and lightening began to crackle in the air. A deafening roar tore through the air as Burt cried out.  
  
Bulma watched the rain beginning to drizzle around her and looked over at Piccolo.  
  
"It's started to rain, let's get out of here," she said, re-capsulating her pack and putting it into her pocket.  
  
"Sure," Piccolo said, scooping her up and flying off to where she directed.  
  
  
  
Isn't love great?  
  
Disclaimer: (Again?! What the f***? Yeah, line up to kick my @$$. I've got another one.) I do NOT, under ANY circumstances own the rights or ANY respective likenesses of Disney World®. Seriously, those people are vicious, and they do NOT stop at the sight of blood. They'll keep going. I doubt there's anything in this world I fear more.  
  
A/N: I was going to have this out nearly two weeks sooner, but I got sick and my life (waits patiently until laughter dies down) got put on hold for a few days, so, sorry about the delay. On the plus side, I can now eat something other than plain toast! Oh, and then the people who let me visit them purely to use their Internet went on vacation for a few days and brought back my sister who's on leave or something from the air force. They're my grandma and grandpa. That's pathetic, they have the Internet and I don't. but mine should be fixed by this week, so then I can stop making up lame excuses for not having my chapters out at a reasonable time. 


	5. Chapter 5

Green Horizons By: Letta Disclaimer: I am currently working on usurping the rights.  
  
Rating: R or NC-17 Wherever I decide to go with this.  
  
Warnings: Well, I guess references to yaoi relationships, abuse. sort of. OOC, probably AU, later on there'll probably be some graphic sexual situations, and by probably, I mean there will be. maybe a little dark humor, some violence. and anything else that could possibly be offensive or ishy that might come up. Also, writer's block hit at the synopsis. that's why there is none. Oh, and now that this has come up, angst. specifically for Goku. He'll probably suffer.  
  
Pairings: Piccolo x Bulma!!! Vegeta x Tien?  
  
Notes: Here, another chapter for Christmas. Hanukkah. Kwanzaa. whatever you might celebrate.  
  
*denotes thought* "denotes speaking" //denotes flashbacks// #denotes whatever the hell I want it to denote#  
  
  
  
Goku thought he felt a power level behind him, but when he turned back to look, he saw nothing. All around him was wilderness, barren of the reaches of man. Ancient green pines towered above him, and an old, dying brook flowed quietly to his left. He sniffed the air around him, but he couldn't pick up anything save the barest trace of Vegeta's scent, which had led him here in the first place.  
  
Not even animals dared disturb the peace. He still couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched or followed. To say it unnerved him was an understatement. It seemed as though the very wind carried on it a current of malice.  
  
Goku looked up at the sky, but saw only the branches intertwining with each other to create a canopy of dark green. It was as if the forest itself was trying to cage him in. A stab of panic ran through him for an instant as he darted blindly along the trees in an effort to escape. He never saw a patch of sunlight peeking through until he was on the border of the woods. There, he stopped to catch his breath and slow his heart. Only then did he start to think that his actions had been irrational for the strongest man in the universe.  
  
He didn't like where the train of thought was going, so he blanked his mind. a skill that after life practice, he perfected. The first thing to enter his mind was that he hadn't lost Vegeta's scent. The second was that he felt a power level disappear again. He hadn't even realized he felt it. or maybe that he only felt it for an instant that he didn't realize what it was until it left.  
  
He was about to spin around when he felt a brief, piercing pain in his wrists that faded almost instantly, but was replaced with the feel of cold metal. Then, a blow to the back of his neck had him drop to the ground, unconscious.  
  
*****  
  
Yamcha ran as fast as his legs could carry him, but he felt it still wasn't fast enough. Diane had gone to the bathroom, and he seized the opportunity to escape. He had slipped out the door and ran as though the hounds of Hell were at his heels. He never felt so winded in his life, but he didn't dare stop to rest, let alone slow down. His sides and legs screamed at him to stop, to stop the madness, but he would pay them no heed. Not until he put a large chunk of the continent between the devil-woman and himself. If not, more.  
  
A couple of miles ago, he felt a rise in her ki signature. it felt angry. Of course, that really was no change from usual. She had some anger issues. She put a psychotic serial killer to shame, and with extreme ease. He wouldn't be surprised if murder were merely a pastime for her. Especially if it involved severe mutilation.  
  
Suddenly, he realized he was heading straight for Gohan's ki.  
  
"Al right! Maybe he can talk her to death!" he thought with renewed strength and hope. With his increased vigor, he picked up his speed, going faster than he ever thought he would. Any protests his body had to give were put on hold.  
  
Only a few seconds later, Gohan rushed past him, skidded to a halt and came back. Yamcha collapsed onto the ground and clutched at his sides as his body caught up with him. Gohan waited patiently while he regained his breath. It took a few minutes.  
  
"Your ki felt frantic, and since you were heading for me, I thought I'd meet you."  
  
"Diane. she. she's coming."  
  
"Crap!" Gohan yelled, then grabbed Yamcha's wrist and powered up to Super Saiyan. "Let's get out of here." That said, Gohan took off at full speed, Yamcha in tow.  
  
*****  
  
"Yeah, I want a Big Mac©, fries, and a beer," Bulma said. Piccolo snickered quietly beside her.  
  
"A what in the what now?" came the reply.  
  
"A Big Mac©, fries, and a beer."  
  
"I'm sorry ma'am, but we're McDonalds®, we don't have beer."  
  
"Are you trying to tell me you don't have a liquor license?"  
  
"Yes," the drive-thru speakers said.  
  
"How come I can get a beer at the McDonalds® across town?"  
  
"I don't think you can."  
  
"I was just there and got a beer," Bulma said, as her partner-in-crime had to step away from the drive-thru menu so his laughter couldn't be heard.  
  
"Ma'am, we don't."  
  
"I'm looking at the can right now. It's on the passenger's side of my car."  
  
"I'm sorry, but we don't serve beer here."  
  
"Well, then what do you have?"  
  
"Soft drinks."  
  
"Like what kind?" Bulma asked.  
  
"Coke, Mountain Dew."  
  
"I'll have a beer, then."  
  
"We don't have beer."  
  
"What am I supposed to drink? How do you people even stay in business? Really. what else is there to drink other than beer?"  
  
"Coke, Mountain Dew."  
  
"Whiskey. I'll take whiskey."  
  
"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."  
  
"How about Scotch then?" Bulma tried.  
  
"Listen you moron, we don't have any frickin' alcohol, so shut up! Now, get your drunk ass off the premises before I come out there and do it for you!"  
  
"How about vodka, do you have any of that?" A scream of fury followed.  
  
*****  
  
Burt whistled merrily to himself. Sure, the perpetrators had gotten away and the egg was caking onto his suit and would soon release a horrible stench, but he was hot on the trail. No one escaped Burt, kai of all Mallets! Besides, he always enjoyed a good chase.  
  
Currently, he was standing in front of a car with someone leaning outside the window and shouting curses at him. Bofre him was a McDonalds®. They had been here for quite some time, it appeared, but they were gone now. However, the trail was fresh. Too fresh. He would not have an adequate challenge if he left immediately. It would be almost too easy.  
  
The guy yelling at him would make a nice distraction. Yes, he would do nicely.  
  
Burt turned to the man, who had begun revving his engine. as if to give the illusion that he would actually run someone over. Not likely.  
  
Burt took in his hand his mallet, and began to whirl it about his head. Clouds gathered in the darkened sky, and seemed to whirl with the mallet. Lightening flashed momentarily, then seemed to fly from the mallet of platinum to strike the man in the car. There was a bright flash of light, and when it, and the dots in front of everyone's eyes faded, there was a chicken.  
  
Burt frowned to himself.  
  
He had meant to turn the man into a chipmunk.  
  
After momentary reflection, he decided it must be the effects of the egg splatterings that covered him.  
  
Burt looked at his watch. Whistled Beethoven's Fifth Symphony in its entirety, and then continued on his self-appointed mission. That was a good enough head start, as far as he as concerned. Though it seemed as though he should be doing something more important that might actually concern his kai-like duties. Then again, considering that he was the kai of mallets.  
  
*****  
  
Tien and Vegeta stood before the gates of the rodent's empire. Disease riddled children swarmed about everywhere, exhausted parents trying desperately to keep up. Men and women who couldn't find a better job filtered around the place, some of them in ridiculously warm costumes of the rodent and his friends. Others working food stands. the rest wishing they would die instantly, on the spot.  
  
It was a heaven unparalleled.  
  
The two rushed forward, barely able to contain their excitement as they tried to decide what to do first.  
  
  
  
Another Disclaimer: I don't own McDonalds. Let's have a show of hands. who here is surprised by that? C'mon, don't be shy.  
  
Notes: My foot fell asleep while writing this -for the inquiring minds. 


	6. Chapter 6

Green Horizons By: Letta Disclaimer: The militia I gathered to storm FUNimation failed, so I still own nothing.  
  
Rating: R or NC-17 Wherever I decide to go with this.  
  
Warnings: Well, I guess references to yaoi relationships, abuse. sort of. OOC, probably AU, later on there'll probably be some graphic sexual situations, and by probably, I mean there will be. maybe a little dark humor, some violence. and anything else that could possibly be offensive or ishy that might come up. Oh, and now that this has come up, angst. specifically for Goku. He'll probably suffer. Nice when your warnings list is quadruple the length any of the other junk at the beginning.  
  
Pairings: Piccolo x Bulma!!! Vegeta x Tien  
  
Notes: Here, another chapter for Christmas. Hanukkah. Kwanzaa. whatever you might celebrate.  
  
*denotes thought* "denotes speaking" //denotes flashbacks// #denotes whatever the hell I want it to denote# (denotes unnecessary author comment)  
  
  
  
Gohan stopped at a cave entrance, looked around, and ducked inside, Yamcha still in tow. The young half saiyan felt along the side of the cave as the light from the moon outside failed to stretch any further, as if it didn't dare to disturb whatever evil may lurk inside the cave. To Yamcha, it seemed that the cold stone reached on forever, but if it kept him away from his psycho girlfriend, whom he was starting to think he might have some problems with.  
  
At last, a tiny flicker of light could be seen ahead, and soon grew to be a warm glow. When they reached it, it opened up to reveal a spacious "room" in which Trunks and Goten were seated on cushions, while they battled each other via video game console. Yamcha wondered where they would plug in a tv, but figured that all would be revealed. what a sucker.  
  
"Brothers, I have returned, and brought back with me a guest."  
  
"That's uh, real nice Gohan." Trunks said, doing a poor job of concealing that it was not "real nice," but rather, Gohan was acting really weird. Truth be told, the only reason why Goten and Trunks were even there was because Gohan promised they could order out every night, since they were all at the mercy of those who couldn't cook, like Goku, Bulma, Vegeta.  
  
Yes, the prince of saiyans had tried to fix a meal. Unfortunately, he had little to no concept of how the oven worked, and even less of teaspoons and cups. Whereas someone else might start off with pancakes or cookies, Vegeta had gone straight for the chicken Kiev with soufflé. He had set the kitchen on fire, but thankfully, Trunks had gotten a fire extinguisher in time. Not to mention that the prince guessed as to what half the ingredients were, and was right less than forty percent of the time. So, he ended up with a burned, crisp chicken surprise caked with CO2 with what had started out as a soufflé, but mutated into something far more hideous. Then, he made them eat it. all of it.  
  
Goku hadn't even been around to cook, he kept making up lame excuses to leave and then they would usually get an annoyed phone call from Vegeta about ten minutes later.  
  
Bulma was busy with Capsule Corp., so cooking was not at the top of the agenda, and as for her mother and father. they disappeared without a trace, but then three weeks later, called up and announced that they had moved to Cancun so they could spend all day on the beach with margaritas. Sly devils.  
  
Back to the point, Yamcha found himself deep inside a cave with two video game junkies and a partially insane half saiyan that was kind of acting like he was in a cult. He began to wonder what happened to the good old days when they were fighting to save the world and no one had completely lost it yet.  
  
"I shall return with more lighting," Gohan announced, and left the room.  
  
"Hey, uh guys? What's up with him?" Yamcha asked when Gohan was out of earshot. Both boys paused the game, set down their controllers and turned around to look at Yamcha solemnly.  
  
"When my mom was dragged off the loony bin, Gohan was already going soft in the brain. Personally, I thought it was drugs at first, but when I didn't find any after a thorough search of his room, I concluded that it wasn't. Very thorough. At first, the only exterior sign was that he was talking a lot, so everyone just thought he was taking it hard."  
  
"Then, Goku started coming over to my house all the time," Trunks picked up after Gohan. "So the only ones to notice it was more than taking it hard were me and Goten. Gohan drug us out here, gave us a tv and food, and so we went along with it."  
  
"Why did Goku go over to your house?"  
  
"He's uh."  
  
"My dad is. gay."  
  
"And mine is too," Trunks said. "Except, he doesn't like Goten's dad. he's been after Tien for years. What's worse is they thought no one knew."  
  
"." Yamcha could only gape.  
  
*****  
  
Goku woke up, strapped to a table. A light shone dimly above him, creating a small circle of yellow to surround him, and shrouding the rest of the room in darkness. He could distinctly smell mold. The air was damp. and cold. He shivered involuntarily. The saiyan tried to jerk free of his bonds, but when they didn't tear away easily, he frowned in confusion. He hadn't even been able to move, in fact, if anything, the ropes had succeeding in only cutting more deeply into his wrists.  
  
"I see you're awake, Goku, darling." The saiyan's blood ran cold as the falsely sweet voice echoed in his ears. He more than detected the undercurrent of malice.  
  
"Chichi?" he asked, weakly, hoping his own senses were deceiving him and that he was wrong.  
  
"Yes. You didn't think you could get away with it, did you?"  
  
"Well."  
  
"Slipping your beloved wife tension agitating pills (I don't know what they're called, people), then slowly driving her to the breaking point? Not to mention that you had pre-booked a room for me at Ridgeview. How long were you planning this?"  
  
"Meemumfs," he mumbled.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Three months. Three months of actual planning," he repeated, testing his bonds again. He suddenly found this distracting.  
  
"But you've been dreaming about it ever since Vegeta decided to give up trying to kill you."  
  
"Yes. believe me Chichi, I never meant to hurt you."  
  
"How about the time when I woke up in the middle of the night to find you standing over me with a knife in your hand? You had that crazed gleam in your eyes. With a husband like you, I should be at Ridgeview! Whatever happened to a good old divorce?!"  
  
"Divorce?" Goku asked, breaking his attention away from being strapped down for a moment to look at her.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"I never thought about that."  
  
*****  
  
Burt walked along a sidewalk, swinging his hammer blissfully. He was on the hunt, and that joyed him. Only one thing could dampen his mood: if he was egged again. That would more than likely displease him. After all, it had angered him once. today. Once he had made his kill, he would never speak of the incident again, like all the others before.  
  
His prey had been many places that evening. loitering on a dark corner. running around a city park terrorizing people. vandalizing statues and monuments. toilet papering people's houses. and so many, many others.  
  
They had kept busy. Statements he had gathered all seemed to end with the two laughing loudly before flying off.  
  
He was beginning to reek quite unbearably. The egging was one step away from its final stage: caking. His own stench was nearly overpowering him. Yet, through it all, he persevered. The Kai of Mallets did not give up so easily, no, especially after giving them a head start. To do so would be ludicrous. It would be like saying he was wrong to do so. That he overestimated himself and his abilities. Burt would not allow such things to happen. After all, he had his pride.  
  
*****  
  
Bulma stood inside her doorway, a small laugh still falling from her lips. She looked up at her emerald escort, her crystal blue eyes sparkling.  
  
"Thanks for flying me around tonight."  
  
"Yeah. I had fun. I never realized that being a public nuisance was so entertaining," the namek replied, an almost imperceptible smile shaping his lips. He still couldn't figure out how those sapphire jewels could lock his gaze, but he didn't really mind.  
  
"Well, you've got to live a little before you die. do you want to come in?" she asked, hope lacing her voice. When a slight nod was her reply, she beamed brilliantly, and stepped aside to allow the namek to enter, barely noticing the rising sun over the horizon. She hadn't realized they had actually stayed out all night, but then, she didn't care either.  
  
She smiled to herself and shut the door behind her. She had more things to educate the tall warrior on. (Suggestive wink. Though, there's the chance that doesn't really mean anything, and I just put that in for effect.)  
  
*****  
  
Diane was fuming. She couldn't believe Yamcha had just run out like that! He was going to get it, she would make sure of it.  
  
If she had to break his legs to teach him his lesson, then so be it! Her last three boyfriends had tried the same thing, but they learned.  
  
Of course, they were all dead due to unfortunate accidents now, but that couldn't be helped. She had bounced back quickly though, and she knew that if Yamcha had an unfortunate accident, she would bounce back well again. There really was no point mulling over it. It was no use crying over spilled milk. She believed that. Her mother told her that after her father died from an unfortunate accident. and her stepfather. and the one after that.  
  
In fact, her mother was the one who kindled her love for boxing. Her mother began teaching her when Diane had been three, having boxed herself.  
  
Diane missed her mother, but after the unfortunate accident that claimed her life, Diane moved on. Imagine, a pipe bomb under her own mother's pillow. It was a tragic accident, and unfortunate. If only her mother hadn't started that bomb-making hobby shortly before her father died. Life was full of "if only's."  
  
Diane couldn't sense ki, but she could sure see the path Yamcha had left, and she was a little faster than him. People that were standing in surprise and shock were the big tip-off. Eventually, the footprints, snapped twigs, and the like were all she had to rely on. Another thing her dearly departed mother had taught her was how to track.  
  
She remembered the first time her mother sent her off to track her father. It was rather easy. He must've cut himself or something, because she just followed the trail of blood. Her father always had been a klutzy man. falling down stairs, running over his legs with the car (that one had baffled his surgeons), falling on kitchen knives. He had a lot of accidents in his life.  
  
Diane now preceded slowly, the feeling that she was close lingering about her.  
  
*****  
  
Yamcha stared at Gohan, the half-saiyan now clad in a full-length brown robe, his face painted in odd, tribal patterns. He couldn't begin to imagine when life started sucking, but he knew that everything sort of veered off into the other lane of traffic. and accelerated.  
  
What's more, Trunks and Goten were to the point that they were unfazed by all of this. In fact, it seemed to him that they almost desperately sought the refuge of their video games in order to avoid dealing with the people around them, knowing they would find no semblance of the normalcy that once was.  
  
"I will go to get us food now, brothers," he announced, setting a lantern on a section of the wall that jutted out to form a ledge. Then, he left.  
  
*****  
  
Chichi gaped at her idiot husband.  
  
"You never thought about a divorce? You just decided to either kill me or lock me up. I would have gone with the divorce! I would love a divorce!"  
  
"So then. it's settled?"  
  
"No! I have to smack you upside the head, first! Maybe it will correct that problem with your brain! I can't believe I married someone so stupid!"  
  
"Hey, that's not very nice."  
  
"Nice? You know what isn't nice? Slipping your wife pills so she ends up in a psych ward so you can go chasing after another man. That's not nice."  
  
"When you put it like that, sure."  
  
"How else could I put it?" Chichi cried, grabbing a frying pan and hitting him in the head, knocking him out. She couldn't wait to sign those divorce papers.  
  
A/N: Well. that was interesting.  
  
Will Yamcha meet with an unfortunate accident?  
  
Who is Chichi's mysterious benefactor?  
  
Should they have locked up Gohan instead of his mom? Will they?  
  
Where is Videl to let her husband go running around like a little pagan?  
  
What else does Bulma have to educate Piccolo on?  
  
Will Burt ever catch up?  
  
Is Goku just going to suffer continuously through this story?  
  
Find out next time. unless I happen to die of an unfortunate accident and therefore cannot resolve a damn thing. do I even need an unfortunate accident for that???? 


	7. Chapter 7

Green Horizons By: Letta Disclaimer: Since I don't even own a freakin' pen, I find it unlikely that I would own any rights pertaining to this story. unless Death® comes into play.  
  
Rating: R or NC-17 Wherever I decide to go with this.  
  
Warnings: Well, I guess references to yaoi relationships, abuse. sort of. OOC, probably AU, later on there'll probably be some graphic sexual situations, and by probably, I mean there will be. maybe a little dark humor, some violence. and anything else that could possibly be offensive or ishy that might come up. Oh, and now that this has come up, angst. specifically for Goku. He'll probably suffer. Irrelevant author insertions here and there.  
  
Pairings: Piccolo x Bulma!!! Vegeta x Tien (sort of)  
  
Notes: I have an Internet class for school; I'm still trying to decide whether or not it's the easiest thing in the world. We get one assignment per week. They're not even lengthy or exceedingly difficult. So that's my education.  
  
*denotes thought* "denotes speaking" //denotes flashbacks// #denotes whatever the hell I want it to denote# (denotes unnecessary author comment)  
  
  
  
Gohan waited for his pizzas to finish baking. He had called ahead and informed them that he would be picking them up. It was imperative that no one discover the cave that he now shared with his brothers. For that reason, he could not have them deliver. a more minor detail was that the cave was out in the middle of nowhere and the delivery service didn't extend that far.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw someone he knew, but when he turned his head, he found no familiar faces. He strained his senses, but nothing came of it. Still, one couldn't be too certain, especially with the clan in its infancy and the new induction of Yamcha. Gohan knew he had to stay on his toes.  
  
When the pizzas finally came, he paid as quickly as he could and hurried out of there. On his way out the door, he bumped into a blonde haired girl, muttered an apology, and without even bothering to look at her, left.  
  
He sped back as fast as he could, not knowing if there was a need for it or not. It was not a chance he was willing to take, not with the stakes this high. He didn't bother to ask himself what exactly the stakes were, merely assuming he subconsciously knew. As is to be expected.  
  
*****  
  
Goku looked at his wife with big puppy dog eyes, and whimpered, hoping his ploy would work. He had baited his line, now he just need to wait for a bite. It came when his wife's face softened slightly.  
  
*That's it, now reel it in slow.*  
  
"Chichi, these bonds are a little tight. They're cutting into my skin," he said, pouting adorably, "Could you loosen them a little?"  
  
"They are? Let me see what I can do," she replied sympathetically, going over to inspect and adjust the bonds.  
  
Goku smiled slightly to himself. *The fish is out of the water!*  
  
"How's this?" Chichi asked, suddenly pulling the bonds tighter, the softness gone from her features. "Really, how big of an idiot do you take me for? I'm not you! If you think that I'll just rush to ease your discomfort after you had me locked up, you have another thing coming, buster. That stupid puppy dog routine is not going to work. I plan on exacting a little revenge, and if torture comes of it, then so be it. No way am I going to pamper you. You have it coming!"  
  
Goku frowned. Apparently 'Plan A' had failed. Although he currently didn't have a 'Plan B,' he knew he would come up with one because he always thought of a way to save the day. even if it was the same thing every time: beat the crap out of the other guy.  
  
*****  
  
Diane stood roughly fifty feet from the cave entrance when she noticed someone coming. Ducking under the cover of a grove of trees, she waited, watching as a young man in a brown robe and weird face paintings landed gently from the sky. He looked around almost fearfully, but definitely alert. When his worries had been apparently eased enough, he went inside.  
  
It took a second for it to all click. That man had been at the barbeque. What had Yamcha said his name was? Gohan. He hadn't been that cagey before.  
  
Diane decided to dismiss it, since Yamcha's friends weren't a normal group. She, on the other hand.  
  
Slowly, she crept towards the entrance, keeping as close to the shadows as she could. It wasn't long before she was sneaking inside.  
  
*****  
  
A girl with a blonde wig shook her head and watched as Gohan entered the cave, and then a few minutes later when Diane did. Videl had finally figured out why her husband had gone off the deep end, and was determined to do something about it. She wouldn't have been able to even get near him if it weren't for the disguise.  
  
He had thought that she was plotting something against him, so he had left Pan with Krillin and locked his wife in a closet. It had taken her awhile to cut the ropes, but she managed. Then, after a little investigation, she realized he was not to blame, but also that she would have to take affirmative action.  
  
As she figured, it was only a matter of time before he showed up at his favorite pizza joint. He could be so predictable at times. So, she slipped on a blonde wig, kept her head down, and planted a bug on him. Then, she traced him to here. It was nice when your daddy was rich enough that you could afford such toys.  
  
Looking around, she realized she had been here before. It was where Gohan had proposed to her. Gohan had admitted to her that he often came here to think or just get away from it all. He had taken her here on more than one occasion, and on one particularly memorable trip, it had rained and they had sought shelter in the cave. Nine months later Pan was born. She blushed at the memory.  
  
Not a very ingenious spot to hide out at.  
  
Gohan may have been book smart and battle smart, but she couldn't ever recall anyone saying he was street smart.  
  
Letting out a sigh, she followed the procession in.  
  
*****  
  
Burt wrinkled his nose up. He was in the final caking stage. He knew these stages well. He had experienced them many times before. The stench of rotting chicken eggs was a smell he was well familiar with. He would have to have this suit dry cleaned too. When he went to pick up his usual outfit, he could drop this one off.  
  
Things would work out well.  
  
He had his mallet, and with that, he would punish. He would live up to the title 'Kai of Mallets!'  
  
Aside from briefly getting lost on the city bus system, he had made it (that was hell in itself). All the way back to where he could only assume they had started out from.  
  
"Capsule Corp.," Burt read the name that spread across the domed building.  
  
He had finally caught up.  
  
*****  
  
Chichi sighed, she had left the room briefly to go relieve herself, and came back to find her so-called husband gone. She bet herself he went to Capsule Corp. The fool probably thought his dear Vegeta would protect him. Yeah right. So, if he still had on the ki blocks she slapped on his wrists, she could easily beat him there. Although at times, he could be very resourceful. at times.  
  
She frowned. There was the problem of Bulma helping him. She would just have to intercept him. That made her plan flawless, there was no way anything could possibly go wrong. Really.  
  
So, exercising it only once before, she pushed herself off the floor, hovering there until she felt secure enough to move about. She then took off, her flight shaky and unsteady most of the way. She figured when she landed, she would have enough time to rest from the exertion before he showed up.  
  
She just hoped he wouldn't sense her.  
  
*****  
  
Goku ran towards the direction Capsule Corp. was at. He recognized Bulma's ki signature, but the other one confused him as to why it was there.  
  
Piccolo.  
  
If he hadn't been concentrating on trying to figure it out, he probably would have noticed Chichi's ki zip by overhead.  
  
*****  
  
Gohan, Yamcha, Goten, and Trunks tore out of the cave like bats out of hell. Diane had found them! At the tail, Trunks had noticed Videl in the corridor, shaking her head and sighing, and picked her up. Maybe she at least knew something about Gohan's behavior.  
  
Trunks could be a rather ingenious boy.  
  
Unfortunately for them, however, Gohan had left some capsules lying around, and one just happened to be an airplane. It is currently unknown why Gohan had an airplane or how he acquired it, so the matter was eventually laid to rest after months of heated debate to come.  
  
Even more unfortunate was Diane finding said plane right off the bat. Almost too convenient.  
  
Soon the chase was on.  
  
*****  
  
Burt was surprised to see a dark haired woman land, and then sit down to catch her breath on the lawn. She hadn't flown with the assistance of a vehicle, so he knew instantly that she was stronger than most humans. It wasn't much longer after that a man with dark hair going in all directions showed up, stared at the woman, and then crumpled to the ground in momentary defeat.  
  
Apparently a convention of weirdoes was taking place on the lawn of Capsule Crop., for almost immediately after, a group of four men, landed, one carrying a woman. One of them was wearing some sort of a brown robe and had tribal paintings covering his face.  
  
The first two people to have landed now stared at Tribe-boy, their mouths widely agape.  
  
Then, a small one-man aircraft landed, and out hopped a crazed, angry looking woman. There seemed to be a wide berth around her. It was then that his targets rushed out of the dome building, looking shocked and annoyed.  
  
What tore Burt's attention away from this was the arrival of George, the 'Kai of Tridents,' Burt's nemesis.  
  
*****  
  
"Gohan! What did you do to your face?" Chichi screeched.  
  
"What's the matter? Is momma getting upset?" Diane butted in, a sneer playing across her lips as she continued, "Shut up, wench! I can't stand your screaming!" Chichi was about to yell back a reply, but she stopped short when her sight caught her eldest son.  
  
Gohan's eyes flickered with anger, and he turned to stare at Diane coldly.  
  
"No one insults my mother," he said, before sending a ki blast straight through her. She didn't have time to cry out as her vocal cords were fried in almost the same instant she was hit. Yamcha dropped to the ground in relief.  
  
It was at that moment that Vegeta and Tien landed, decked out in Disney® gear. The Mickey Mouse ears®, to the shirts, to the shoelaces. and on and on. The group stared at them, but then ignored them, except for Goku, who knew, in that tragic moment, that Vegeta had forgot to take him with.  
  
"I think I can explain Gohan's recent behavior," Videl started, and everyone turned expectant eyes on her. "You see, Gohan had a cold a while back, and so he took cold medicine for it. The only problem was, it had side effects, and then he had gotten addicted to it and started taking larger and larger doses, which would account for his increased insanity and paranoia. It also made him irritable and easily agitated, not to mention delusional. Two days ago, he thought I was plotting against him, so he knocked me out from behind, tied me up with a rope, and locked me in the hall closet. I escaped pretty easily. I'm just glad he didn't try to torch the house as well. Anyway, I managed to get a counteracting drug from the pediatrician, so everything will be fine."  
  
"Well, that would explain some things." Goten said more to himself than anyone else.  
  
There was a bit of confusion about the pediatrician part, since Videl had failed to mention that Gohan had gotten addicted to children's medicine.  
  
"Chichi, I thought you were in Ridgeview," Bulma spoke up.  
  
"I was."  
  
"So how did you get out?"  
  
"I can answer that," Vegeta butted in. Everyone turned to look at him anxiously. "Kakkarot wouldn't leave me alone, so I took the liberty of aiding his wife in escape."  
  
"And I thank you very much," Chichi said.  
  
Goku gaped.  
  
"But. but Vegeta! After I tried so hard to get her locked up just so we could be together. you go and help her get out?!" To say the younger saiyan looked upset was an understatement. He was devastated and confused. There was uproar after that, which didn't quiet for quite some time.  
  
Eventually, Gohan and Videl left to go pick up Pan from Krillin's, who had never expected to have her more than a few hours, let alone nearly three days.  
  
Trunks and Goten realized the danger and drama was pretty much over and rushed back to the cave for pizza and gaming.  
  
There was a little conferring about Chichi and Goku, which ended up in a decision that neither one liked very well. They were both going to be locked up at Ridgeview! With the ki blocks still on Goku, and Chichi simply not being as strong, it was easy to contain them. Word has it they attend group sessions.  
  
  
  
Finally, Piccolo and Bulma turned to Vegeta and Tien, who had since returned from the trip to Ridgeview.  
  
"So what exactly is going on with you two?" Bulma asked, a knowing smile on her face.  
  
"We went to Disney World®."  
  
"Except, it didn't quite work out," Tien picked up, "we're giving up the dream." Vegeta nodded.  
  
"Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that," Bulma responded, wisely not believing anything Tien claimed. The two flew away together, the word 'suckers' being heard. If the two weren't so obvious about tying to hide it.  
  
The blue haired woman turned to the namek. "So, let's continue from where we left off," she said, grabbing his hand and leading him back inside.  
  
Burt was then slammed into the ground, the trident having smacked him brutally upside the head. He had forgotten about his previous prey, and the last blow probably ensured that he wouldn't remember why he was caked in egg the next morning, though he would have his suspicions.  
  
George may have been his twin brother, but that held no jurisdiction over their intents to kill each other. However, as George landed across the street to deal the finishing blow, he was hit by a car and remained in a coma for a week.  
  
  
  
A/N: Well, well, well. One more chapter to go. I promised "graphic sexual situations." So, I best deliver. Until next time. 


	8. Chapter 8

Green Horizons By: Letta  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights... and frankly, I don't even know what my rights are.  
  
Rating: R or NC-17 Wherever I decide to go with this.  
  
Warnings: Well, I guess references to yaoi relationships, abuse... sort of... OOC, probably AU, later on there'll probably be some graphic sexual situations, and by probably, I mean there will be... maybe a little dark humor, some violence... and anything else that could possibly be offensive or ishy that might come up. Oh, and now that this has come up, angst... specifically for Goku. He'll probably suffer. Irrelevant author insertions here and there...  
  
Pairings: Piccolo x Bulma!!!  
  
Notes: I have the dumbest dog in the world. It got lost for three days... at my neighbor's house. It couldn't find its own way home! I'm sorry, but any dog that can't go a quarter of a mile without getting lost maybe needs to be taken out back and shot. Honestly! Since my neighbor is on vacation, he didn't know. The thing is, when we found out where he was and went to go pick him up, he was guarding the place! Apparently, he'd been growling at everyone that pulled in. He didn't even recognize my step dad at first. Our other dog is normal enough... That had nothing to do with this story, I was just ranting.  
  
*denotes thought* "denotes speaking" //denotes flashbacks// #denotes whatever the hell I want it to denote# (denotes unnecessary author comment)  
Bulma led the tall namek through the maze of Capsule Corp. until they eventually arrived at a closed door. She twisted around to face him, an evil grin spreading across her face as her free arm snaked behind her back to grasp the doorknob. A turn and a push later, the door swung open widely, revealing a large bedroom.  
  
Plush, tan carpeting spread across the floor languidly matching the drapes and complimenting the sensual pink silk of the king sized bed. It was to the latter that the namek found himself being drug to.  
  
The devious smile never left Bulma's face as she sat down on the covered mattress, gently tugging her captive onto it. Piccolo went from sitting readily on the edge of the bed to being pushed none-to-gently onto his back. To say he was surprised at how quickly the blue haired woman had suddenly managed to straddle him was an understatement. He never dreamed anyone with her power level could move so fast.  
  
The namek didn't quite know what to make of the feral look that had festered in her eyes, and to be honest he was a little unnerved. He was about to ask her what she was doing when she cut him off... by dipping her head down and pressing her lips against his savagely, wasting no time in slipping a warm tongue inside. Instinctively, Piccolo found his tongue writhing with the amorous woman's.  
  
*I feel... tingly...* the namek thought randomly, as he suddenly found eager hands trying to find their way inside his dark clothes. It didn't take much more questing for the searching appendages to reach their destination, and then seek out a new mission of tearing the garments from the muscled green flesh.  
  
Dazedly, the namek could only lift his hands to rest on twitching hips.  
  
"A little help here?" Bulma asked seductively, breaking away and tugging at his cape. The namek immediately responded by quickly discarding it, and then pulling the lithe female back to him with affectionate need. She squirmed in delight, dipping her head to tenderly nuzzle his corded neck, followed by some feverish nipping and suckling.  
  
Piccolo abstractedly noticed that blood was flowing to certain heated areas of his body, and he was beginning to feel slightly constricted in one of them, but his attention shifted by the loss of his shirt... and sash. He quickly found the sensual female dauntingly using her mouth with peculiar skill and dexterity as she dotingly sampled his chest. Despite how fit he may have been, Piccolo was soon panting, not completing realizing as his hands slid up and down her firm body in passionate strokes. Bulma smirked complacently amidst her work, pleased with herself at the responses she was eliciting from her soon to be lover. Piccolo was already moaning softly. As her head moved precariously lower, her arms slid up to sweep across his shoulders, then down his arms again, tickling and ghosting across rippled pink patches. The action drew another low moan. She decided she would see just what it took to make a namek scream.  
  
*He's pretty cute when he wriggles.* Bulma thought adoringly as she snuck a look at the namek's face, smiling softly to herself.  
  
Piccolo gasped sharply as a hot mouth and exotically warm breath fell on the sensitive ridged flesh of his stomach. Somewhere in the recesses of his clouded mind, he must have known that he arched sharply into the contact. For a brief moment, the sensation stopped, but then he realized that she had removed her shirt. He looked on with hooded eyes at the exposed flesh, but still frustratingly covered by a flimsy garment imprisoning the two soft mounds.  
  
She smiled dangerously at him, keeping him locked in her lustrous gaze, as she went back to her previous engagement: exploring Piccolo.  
  
The namek groaned, fisting his hands in her hair passionately as she hit a particularly sensitive spot. Somehow, he was suddenly stripped of his constricting pants freeing his towering length, and some further feverish rustling let him know she was in the process of losing hers as well. He chuckled softly when he looked down to see bouncy woman battling with a pants leg that refused to relinquish its hold. With a violent tug, she wrenched her foot free, tumbling backwards and off the bed in the process.  
  
"I'm all right!" she called up.  
  
Piccolo jolted up and peered amusedly over the side, actually grinning at her sheepish face.  
  
*Beautiful.* he thought.  
  
He reached out a strong hand to help her up after losing himself in those shining blue depths lighted by her small smile. She gently accepted the offer.  
  
"For a second I thought you wanted to continue from down there," she teased.  
  
He didn't have much time to consider the meaning behind this as she suddenly placed a delicate kiss on his lips and wiggled out of some thin cloth before impaling herself on his manhood, eliciting a strangled scream from both of them. Piccolo's vision danced and swayed as his senses concentrated on the deliciously sensual feel of her warm heat surrounding him. Her slick passage was perfectly lubricated for him. She remained still for a moment, then grinned down at him as she slowly rose to his tip before slamming herself down again.  
  
Piccolo moaned loudly, tightly gripping her hips, but doing his best not to hurt her. Bulma set a slow rhythm at first, gradually increasing her speed, and the namek found he was bucking his hips into her, meeting her descents. They rocked together enjoying each other's feel, pressure mounting in each. Piccolo could no longer even concentrate as wave after wave of sheer pleasure washed over him, overloading his clouded senses. He began pulling her down onto him, deriving even more gratification from her impassioned screams. His vision swam over as the namek felt himself nearing the pivotal edge.  
  
Bulma squeezed her eyes shut tightly, feeling herself hovering over the brink. She rose steadily and fell and few more times, reveling in the delightful friction, and released a primeval cry, vaguely registering an answering impassioned scream. Exhausted, she rolled off Piccolo, her breath coming in ragged gasps. When her strength returned, she rolled onto her side, facing the namek, a sloppy smirk on her perfect face.  
  
"Want to try that again?" she asked alluringly, wrapping her arms around him possessively.  
  
Piccolo studied her face for a second, before a smirk crossed his own face.  
  
"Sure."  
  
*****  
  
"Excuse me," Chichi said, turning away from arguing with her husband, looking at the doctor in curiosity, "but what happened to Dr. Austin?"  
  
"He fell ill. I'm his replacement. You may call me Dr. Burt," he said, patting a seemingly out-of-place mallet.  
  
"Well how come you've just stared off into space for the past hour while Goku and I were arguing?" Chichi asked.  
  
"I was..."  
  
"Hey, when's lunch time?" Goku asked. He seemed ignorant of the cold stare the good doctor was giving him.  
  
"The next one who interrupts me gets whacked!" he said, hefting his mallet into his arms, looking at the couple challengingly. Suddenly, the door to the office swung open.  
  
"Hey Burt, you ready for lunch."  
  
"Gohan?!" Chichi asked.  
  
"Oh, hi mom, I didn't expect to."  
  
Chichi looked back and forth between Dr. Burt and her son, ignoring the way her husband was dumbly at the entire scene.  
  
"You two know each other?"  
  
"Uh, yeah," Gohan admitted. "He's the Kai of Mallets."  
  
"Well, session's over!" Burt announced, standing up as he carried his mallet out the door, leaving Gohan to follow.  
  
THE END! 


End file.
